One of the common behavioural changes that leaders commit to make to their coaches is to listen better.
Sounds like a good intention indeed. The question that coachees and ask is this: How do I know that I am getting better at listening.
In general, how do I know I am listening well?
Waiting for 360 feedback can take a while. Leaders and Coachees need a simple way to know that on a daily basis they are inching forward – they need a check-list of sorts to self-monitor.
So, here is my list of ten visible behavioral indicators that you are listening well.
This could be a one-on-one conversation, at home with you children or your spouse, or with a colleague or team member or a team meeting or a review.
I hope you find this useful and even build on it.
- When you are device free during the conversation
- When you talk less (say 30% of the time only)
- When you talk 3rd or 4th – certainly did not go first
- When you are able to paraphrase the content of what others said
- When you are able to paraphrase feelings
- When you are able to summarize the meaning that you have made of what the other persons said or are going through and you do it a few times.
- When you are able to ask good questions
- When you are able to pick up the unsaid and unexpressed
- When the most silent person in the room says something
- When the people in the room have impacted you emotionally and you feel connected