New Year, New Behaviour!

“Just like a vaccine, we introduce the new behaviour in short doses and keep at it until the benefits of the new behaviour more than compensate for the loss of the old one!”

Jan 1

You: I am going to go to the gym every day.

Your Mind – Good thought! Seems like a good decision.

Jan 2

You: Yay, I did it and now I am going to do it again.

Your mind: Yes, not bad…

Jan 3

You: They say you need to take a break on the third day for your muscles to recover

Your mind: That makes sense…it’s been quite hectic managing work and the gym and everything else.

Jan 4

You: I should go to the gym today…

Your mind: Hmmm are you sure this is working for you? You seem more tired than energised… anyway, your call.

Jan 5

You: Time to go to the gym again.

Your mind: Do you really think you can keep this up? Everyday? Do you realise this means you need to get up early? Which means you need to sleep early…. which means you give up all the fun stuff you look forward to once you are back home. How are you going to chill after a stressful day?

You: Oh dear. I don’t like being stressed. I do need to chill

Your mind: Exactly! Mental peace is so important, right?

You: If I am not mentally at peace, all the exercise in the world is of no use. You are right. I need to prioritise
Your mind: Absolutely!

If conversations such as these are familiar to you, you are already conversant with the concept of Immunity to Change introduced by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey. A framework that we often refer to while coaching for change.

Just like our immune system is activated when a virus enters our body, we have an immune system that gets activated every time we try to bring in a change in our behaviour.

The mind likes predictability, comfort and pleasure. Therefore, every change is viewed as a threat and is resisted with great force.

This mental immune system consists of our mindset, our beliefs, our habits and our fears. For example, thinking: “I am just not a morning person” or “I have tried this and failed before” can effectively stop change in its tracks.

The way to work around this is to first make our peace with these thoughts.

We do have some benefits accruing out of our old behaviour. Our thoughts are valid. What are we losing when we try to introduce new behaviours? How do we recover the benefits our old one gave us?

Just like a vaccine, we introduce the new behaviour in short doses and keep at it until the benefits of the new behaviour more than compensate for the loss of the old one! Small successes matter and need to be celebrated. They need to add up till you finally normalise the change you want to demonstrate.

Do look at making the new behaviour more enjoyable. Going to the gym may be a pain but going with a friend is fun! Or maybe it is not the gym but Zumba that is your exercise of choice…

Take that first step. Buy that pair of track pants. Find that friend. Fight the immunity.

There is something beautiful and exciting about a new year that makes all of us want to start afresh.

Here’s to more meaningful new beginnings that can lead to better tomorrows!

Author: Archana Edward Madhavan, Director, CFI Research and Insights Cell