The under 40 Did Not Show Up Awards for Men
Are you aware of the Under 40 Did Not Show Up (DNSU) Awards for Men?
Well, truth be told, there is no such award!
I coined this fictitious award to make my point. For that, let me share my personal story.
The year was 1991 and we were expecting our first child. As the date for our baby’s arrival neared, I informed my then Manager Noble Powar about this and the fact that I will need to take some leave. That is when he told me something very touching. He said and I still remember, “Ganesh, I was not there with my wife when my son was born and I still regret it. So, don’t make that mistake. Take all the time you need to be with you wife and the child. Work will always be there”.
He supported me in my decision to take a full month off and that was such a wonderful period. When my second child was born, I took another month off too.
Noble in many ways reminded me that there was no Under 40 DNSU award waiting for me!
For several decades many men competed fiercely for the DNSU awards. (not showing up for the family when it matters – be it child birth, a parent teacher meeting or visiting the doctor when the kid is unwell, pitching in for elder care, supporting the wife when she needs to try and get back to working and so on)
Good news is that things have changed quite a bit over the decades and more and more men are choosing not to compete for these awards. They are showing up. More so after the pandemic. However, a lot more needs to change.
Do men continue to believe that the price they are paying by not showing up for their family and personal needs when it matters will somehow be rewarded and recognized? Or do they believe that it is inevitable? Are organisations quiet about it and encourage or even demand it? These are questions worth pondering about.
Among the several implications, the effort to support women build sustainable careers, is an important one. Unless more and more men stop competing for these DNSU awards and actually show up, women will not be able to sustain their career aspirations.
I wish more and more men talk about this and tell their male team members that there is no such award. In the manner in which Noble Powar did, encouraging their male team members to show up when it matters.
I also wish more and more organisations clarify that there is no Under 40 awards waiting for men who make these sacrifices.
While men of today are certainly changing and are different from the generation before, it must be remembered that the changes needed are very significant and unless the world around men changes the narrative, men will struggle to change.
YouTube: https://youtu.be/lJ9PEPO4
